Finding Yourself

         Everyone has their talents and abilities. They things their good at, the things their great at. And theres even the things they suck at. But me? Nothing. I honestly don't know what i'm good at. There isn't anything i do that people recognize for me. It bugs me. Ive tried EVERYTHING. And the weird thing is, i'm not actually really bad at anything either. It's like i'm just here. Well, i might be lying a little. I am really good at a lot of things I've tried or done. But that doesn't mean i really enjoy them or they relieve my stress or make me happy. And thats what i'm trying to find. My way out. My "go to" kind of thing when i need to get away. Which is everyday. I can never just be happy for an entire day without any worries. It's sad really. I'm young. 14 years old to be exact. I have so much life and experience ahead of me and already i want to give up. I feel like sometimes being dead would be easier than being alive. But if I think about it.. i smile at least once everyday. And laugh too. And i do have some good times. Just because the past few years of my life have been awful, doesn't mean my entire life will. You know what makes me happy the most right now? Seeing other people happy. Which is weird cause usually the only persons feelings i really focus on are my own. But making other people happy and seeing their smile is what makes me smile. Maybe that means something. Maybe that's what i'm good at. But it just isn't like other talents. Like singing, or dancing, sports, drawing, playing the guitar, ect. Why can't i have one these abilities? Well actually, i sing all the time. Doesn't mean i'm good at it though. I dance whenever others are dancing. I use to play sports all the time. I actually played volleyball and kickball for 3 years and won a city championship! But i will admit i suck at drawing. But i also played the guitar for a year. The piano too! So maybe i do have a talent. Or maybe i'm just talented at pretty much everything. But it feels like everything i do doesn't feel right for me. I may be good at it, it just comes naturally to me, but it doesn't make ME happy. And even though i enjoy making others happy, myself needs to be happy too. The happier i am, the easier i could make others happy. So where do i go from here? What's something i do a lot? Well, i write a lot. I prefer to write everything down on paper with a pencil cause it's like i have control over it. I can write whatever i want. Say whatever i want to say. I just grab the pencil tight, press down hard, and let my mind do the writing. Writing on a computer isn't the same. I feel like i don't get my feelings out as easily. But it's something new i thought i could try. As you can see, writing all of this down on paper would cause serious hand cramps! So if i like writing, and i like making others happy, then maybe i could do both at once. Maybe i could write books that help others through different sorts of problems. I always did think i gave good advice and could be a good therapists. But writing books isn't really something 14 year olds can do. So i guess that's more of a later on in life opportunity. I have to focus on finding myself NOW. But what if there isn't anything to find? I think that sometimes, but i don't really bother paying much attention to it. I just know there is something big inside me waiting to come out. I just wish i knew what. Where will i be in 10 years? What will i be doing? I have no clue! So why our schools putting this pressure on kids. To make us think that everything we do in high school effects our future and just one fuck up will ruin the rest of our lives completely. How could they do that? Teens have enough stress as it is. If i have no idea what i'm good at now, then how do i know what i'll be good at later on? How do i know what classes to take or what to do to get prepared for it if i don't even know what i'm preparing for? In 10 years i could be dead for all i know! I keep getting side tracked.. Well not really. Cause school is where you find yourself for your future jobs and careers. But i honestly have no clue about anything! I don't know what i want to do or where i want to go. So i don't know why i'm sitting here trying to figure my life out. I have the rest of my life to do that which is plenty of time. I don't want to sit here and worry about what will matter years from now. I'm more fatalistic than realistic. I really focus on what's meant to be instead of what seems the most logical. I really do think if something is meant to be, then it will be. So whatever my talent is, and whatever ability i have that will relieve stress and just make me happy, will just come to me one day. I don't need to find it, i just have to wait for it to find me. I guess all i can really do is wait. And then one day, maybe i'll be able to do what makes me happy.

Search Recipes For Easy Recipes | Appetizers, Cooking Bread & Chicken Recipes, Soup, Baking Cake & More | Taste Of Home

Search Recipes For Easy Recipes | Appetizers, Cooking Bread & Chicken Recipes, Soup, Baking Cake & More | Taste Of Home

Trust Is The Key

Marriage is a commitment. When someone asks for your hand in marriage you really have to think. It isn't a joke, you have to look at them and think, is this who i want to be with for the rest of my life?
Is this the person you want to wake up to every morning and raise a family with? If this is the person you want to be with forever, then why would you want to hurt that person?

Cheating is the worse possible case in a marriage. Well at least to me it is. How could you do something so painful to the person who makes you the happiest. If its not working then just leave. Don't lead someone on especially someone who you still care or use to care for. Heart break is the worst pain many people will go through. Stay loyal or stay single.

Never Give Up

Have you ever been on edge, and not known where to go or what to do? Have you ever felt like it's the end? No matter how hard things get, It's never the end. Even when all you have is yourself and nothing goes right for you, you just can't give up.
If you think about it, no matter how hard your life is someones life is even worse. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and think how others feel. Everyone has hard times so don't let a few tear you apart.  Life is a very difficult thing to understand. And honestly, i don't understand it. The one thing i do know about life is that you only have one. So live it right and make the best of it. Don't let bad, temporarily situations lead to permanent decisions. Ive come down to my moments when nothing goes right. But here i am still trying and not giving up. Cause you shouldn't let anything get between you and what you really want. Its your life live it how you want to live it. Do what makes you happy and makes you smile. Don't worry about anyone else, just worry about you and stay true to yourself.